Losing Ground
by Amanda9
Summary: Missing Scene' for episode 408. Michael tells Ben about Brian, and Ben realises how much ground he's losing. BriMikey in tone


Title: _Losing Ground_

By: Amanda

Feedback: sweety167yahoo.ca

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Season 4

Disclaimer: I don not own anything QAF related.

Summery: Missing Scene. Michael tells Ben about Brian, and Ben realises everything.

Dedicated: To my best friend would totally gave me this piece. And who ever said hour long phone conversations about TV shows weren't constructive!?

Completed: September 16, 2004

The front door opened and closed. But that was it.

"Baby?" Ben called from the kitchen, wooden spoon in hand.

But no reply came.

"Baby is that you?" again the image of domestic bliss asked into the apartment, and again there was no reply. Peaking his head around the wall he spotted Michael leaning back into the hall coat-rack, barely moving and unresponsive. By all means, shell-shocked.

"Michael are you alright?" he rushed to his side. Taking notice of the red eyes and stench of cannabis, along with where he had been: one rage filled question rose to him, "What did Brian do?"

Michael's eyes shot into focus, glaring at the other man, "Don't say anything about Brian," he pushed Ben away and broke into tears again. He was unable to move himself from the entranceway.

Ben was used to the unwavering support Michael had for his best friend, but it still stung when Michael put Brian above all else, even himself. "But baby…" he softly cooed, "You're all upset." Carefully he put his arm around his partner's shoulders, offering him the support he obviously needed, "and you just came from Brian's," he added quietly.

"I can't lose him," Michael croaked out, the raw noise surprising them both.

"What do you mean, lose him?" several possibilities ran through the professor's head. All of them linking with the one dread he'd had since falling for the raven-haired man, but he thought that love for Brian was over.

Instead of answering Michael fell into the accepting arms of his lover, sobbing and blubbering, "I just can't lose Brian, not now, not ever."

Another part of Ben's heart broke, the part that worshipped Michael fully. Enveloping the smaller man in his arms, he ushered him away from the door and onto the safety of the couch.

Rubbing his hand up and down his back, he began the careful task of building Michael back up, "You'll never lose Brian." He never felt that he should have to do this, comfort his lover about his love for another man. But it was something beyond all his spiritual understanding, or maybe he just never really wanted to fully understand – and accept, it.

Catching his breath, Michael relayed the worst part, his greatest fear, "but…but he's sick."

The words punched Ben in the gut. He's sick?

Even if he wasn't a fan of Brian, or his lifestyle, he still panicked. Panicked for Michael, for their existence. "Michael baby, what do you mean sick?"

Michael rook a handful of haggard breaths, reminiscent of his early asthma – not that Ben would know that, only Brian would, before he could answer, "C…Can…Cancer." His voice was as helpless and hopeless as he felt. Not to mention lost.

Ben let out a relaxed laugh. The uncomfortable tightness had lifted; It was only cancer.

Michael looked up with sadness, confusion and anger twirling in his chocolate brown eyes. He saw, and felt, the happiness lifting off of his partner. The joy?

"Michael…" the laugh still played in Ben's voice, "It could be so much worse." He actually laughed at it. A twisted nervous, relief.

Michael pushed himself away, disgusted; "I could still lose him! Like Vic or you and Hunter! Brian is always! My Always!" And again he fell into horrible sobs, "I can't lose Brain…I won't!"

After taking a moment, Ben refocused and tried again, "Michael…I…" but he could find no words now, not even with his close relationship with mortality.

"We never know how much time we have," he continued in sobbing rambles.

But the rambles were true, and Ben heard it loud and clear. He knew it too, only wished he hadn't been reminded of that truth. Wished Michael hadn't been reminded of it. That was something he tried to shelter Michael from, but was learning it was something Michael always lived with – with everyone…but the safety of Brian. Never had the safety of Brain been so threatened, not even by tricks and lovers.

"No…we never do," Ben pulled a complacent Michael into his arms, for as much his comfort as his own, "but there is something I do know…"

Two doe eyes stared hopefully up at him, desperate for reassuring words.

Ben brushed back the raven spikes, "I know you'll never lose Brian, ever."

A relieved smile pulled at the corners of Michael's mouth. He heard what his heart needed.

Ben was both relieved and pained. No matter what happened to him, Michael would always have someone to love him, and to love.

That thought became unsettling; like accepting he was already dead and buried, forgotten.

Brian's mortality effected them all…not to mention Vic's recent passing. It was all a harsh reminder. He was always losing ground, losing his footing a little bit everyday. But he just had to make sure he lived now. Grab hold of everything and claim it for dear life.

He wrapped his arms tighter around Michael…he just needed a way to claim Michael as his, claim his life as his, for as long as they lived. 'Till death would they part…

Then Brian would surely – and rightfully- take his place.

The End.


End file.
